I always see a friend I LOVE at social gathers and I say the exact same thing every time we leave a party “Life has been so crazy lately but it’s starting to slow down so we really need to get together…I miss seeing you.”
No doubt there are seasons of life that seem like unending busyness. But as Millennials there is this little voice inside of us that always says “if some is good then more must be GREAT” and so we make room in our lives for more…except we really don’t. Our already super jam packed overflowing busy schedules burst at the seams as we schedule another “event” in there to fill our already busy lives.
Another friend I was talking to was mentioning how she felt like me being busy with my job was good and a sign that “God is really opening doors for your business.” There’s only one problem there: busy is not biblical. If our “goodness” isn’t rooted in our beliefs then what do we actually believe? But don’t hear what I’m not saying maybe God IS opening doors in your life and business BUT if that translate to no time for yourself, your family, or things that give you LIFE then it’s probably just the More Monster creeping in.
I first heard the term “more monster” in my MOPs journal. I’m unsure who the author is but she write this:
“What does the More Monster tell us? That More=Meaning. More mail. More clothes. More makeup. More books. More appointments. More square footage. More decor. More food. More friends. More followers. More outings. More. More. More.
All this “more” leaves us with: More pressure. More worries. More expectations. More exhaustion. More hustle. More debt. More frantic. More. More. MORE.
Every surface covered.
Every drawer stuffed full.
More, I realize, is not the source of meaning. In fact, what truly fills me up is clearing away all the extras. Then I am truly invited to invest myself in less.” – MOPs Internationally Planner
I stood up off the couch after reading that and yelled FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOM (William Wallace style). Ironically, the next chapter was called “Freedom To Continue” ugh read it it’s life changing.
What do you NEED more of that seems to make you feel at the end of your rope? We are invited to trust ourselves in this process and enter into a free space of less. Less exhaustion, less stuff, less clutter, less worry, less anxiety, less pressure, less worrying, no expectations”
For me I always feel like I need more friends. If she is your friend then surely she will be my friend too and I’ll be so loved by all.
I overextend myself socially with every social group I can fit into until I have nothing left to give my children, my husband, myself. The more monster creeps in and tells me in order to have meaning in my life everyone must like you and everyone must invite you and when they don’t surely you are not worthy and surely you are not loved.
I love this quote by Greg McKeown:
“What if we stopped celebrating being busy as a measure of importance? What if instead we celebrated how much time we had spent listening, pondering, meditating and enjoy time with he most important people in our lives?”
At 30 you’d think I wouldn’t be insecure or as much as a people pleasure as I tried to be in my 20’s. Wrong again. Fortunately, God has taken me down this journal of minimalism. Minimalism is (in my opinion) biblical:
“Where your treasure is there your heart will be also” Matthew 6:21
Jesus said that. He told us from his own mouth that what ever we treasure most in this world is a direct reflection of our hearts.
It wasn’t until a couple months ago when I sought counseling for my PPD and anxiety that I realized the More Monster controlled my life, my mind and my soul. I wanted, nay needed, more of everything and nothing ever satisfied me. I needed more. More people to like me. To see how FUN I am. Loyal I am. Caring. Selfless…blah blah blah.
You know how that ends. In disappointment and pain. So much pain. Not just for myself but I assume for so many other people too. The More Monster takes over who you are and creates a selfish being who only desires more of everything for herself.
A lady at my church challenged me with this and I was so embarrassed at HOW DIFFICULT it was for me for a good long while: “just 15 minutes a day turn everything off and play on the floor with your kids. Don’t worry about cleaning, or laundry, or meal making, or social media. Just be present”
So challenge yourself:
- Turn off the tv: we only watch TV on certain days now.
- Shut down the social media: there are days I won’t go on social media. I’m praying over getting rid of FB & I’ve taken the app off my phone.
- Turn text notifications off: this isn’t news…lots of people do this to feel peace. This isn’t mean this is necessary!
- When your calendar is full say “no”: It’s hard. I hate missing out but in light of my current heart state I have to say no…lovingly.
- Stop buying start bargaining (Maybe stop using Amazon?? OMG no I didn’t) : I got rid of soooooo much baby stuff in our move. I took it to a local trading spot for baby items. It was awesome to get rid of stuff and use that credit to get a new stroller. Trust me, you (we) don’t need more! Filling our houses empties our hearts and doesn’t bring peace to any area of our lives.
You know what I’d rather do?
Get outside where you feel peace. Open a book. Have alone time with your spouse.
Be free from busy and invite less to define you.
Less stress. Less anxiety. Less worry. Less people pleasing.